Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon