Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom. http://tfl.nu/i9mn
  Replies (10) Good night (551) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone. http://tfl.nu/i40f
  Replies (23) Good night (6826) Bad night (1575)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity http://tfl.nu/nv6r
  Replies (17) Good night (8642) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking. http://tfl.nu/1cd2
  Replies (13) Good night (3871) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are. http://tfl.nu/vxum
  Replies (16) Good night (5097) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?" http://tfl.nu/nrwr
  Replies (5) Good night (3447) Bad night (1537)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron. http://tfl.nu/g77l
  Replies (15) Good night (4444) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong http://tfl.nu/lmgu
  Replies (10) Good night (1876) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/j1n0
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (1599)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes. http://tfl.nu/nuhm
  Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc
  Replies (11) Good night (581) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES http://tfl.nu/1xjy
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (849): View more from

  Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (849): Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons http://tfl.nu/2why
  Replies (6) Good night (532) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent? http://tfl.nu/den8
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (580)

Randomize