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Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
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