Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache

(225): View more from Louisiana

You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice

(504): View more from Louisiana

Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?

(225): View more from Louisiana

I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....

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(504): Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache (225): You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice (504): Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time? (225): I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz.... http://tfl.nu/t0ng

Replies (4) Good night (1463) Bad night (660)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

Well... I doubt that.

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(859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that. http://tfl.nu/5uw1

Replies (25) Good night (1403) Bad night (735)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

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(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4. http://tfl.nu/sr4z

Replies (385) Good night (129797) Bad night (4431)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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(508): He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket... (1-508): He wasn't the only one with a full load. http://tfl.nu/y8kb

Replies (24) Good night (6306) Bad night (1087)
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(214): View more from Texas

i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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(214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft

Replies (12) Good night (1040) Bad night (7841)
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(805): View more from California

WHY are the edges of my bra charred???

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(805): WHY are the edges of my bra charred??? http://tfl.nu/czt9

Replies (12) Good night (3330) Bad night (1046)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.

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(+44): If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong. http://tfl.nu/d9uh

Replies (26) Good night (922) Bad night (6254)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game

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(919): she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game http://tfl.nu/obaf

Replies (11) Good night (3154) Bad night (906)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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(250): Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv? http://tfl.nu/hacf

Replies (9) Good night (522) Bad night (1244)
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(847): View more from Illinois

This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

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(847): This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good http://tfl.nu/2hdv

Replies (8) Good night (1970) Bad night (412)
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(407): View more from Florida

If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.

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(407): If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3. http://tfl.nu/ytxl

Replies (3) Good night (1281) Bad night (435)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!

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(208): Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!! http://tfl.nu/fdif

Replies (11) Good night (1267) Bad night (490)
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(720): View more from Colorado

His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.

(1-720): View more from Colorado

I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.

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(720): His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home. (1-720): I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/5b3q

Replies (23) Good night (1674) Bad night (534)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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(647): I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!" http://tfl.nu/1iw3

Replies (3) Good night (1975) Bad night (301)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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(404): Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat. http://tfl.nu/fqqq

Replies (4) Good night (1577) Bad night (473)

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