I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
