marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
