Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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