and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
