Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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