Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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