life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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