I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
