The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
