I want to stick my p in your. b.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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