# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
