You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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