Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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