We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize