Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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