do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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