my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
