so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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