The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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