I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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