I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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