he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
