there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
