You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
