its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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