no, he came in my armpit
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works