i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
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This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail