girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??