I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I sprained my soul last night
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.