Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites. http://tfl.nu/r5fj

Replies (19) Good night (3261) Bad night (868)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

(903): View more from Texas

That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l

Replies (30) Good night (862) Bad night (3552)
Favorite
(585): View more from New York

she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d

Replies (58) Good night (10068) Bad night (985)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER http://tfl.nu/i5te

Replies (10) Good night (4213) Bad night (1128)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me, http://tfl.nu/qbcn

Replies (16) Good night (2470) Bad night (4299)
Favorite
(708): View more from Illinois

For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?

(773): View more from Illinois

To be honest, kinda.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(708): For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly? (773): To be honest, kinda. http://tfl.nu/5ciz

Replies (13) Good night (1634) Bad night (4077)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen. http://tfl.nu/2lhp

Replies (6) Good night (2149) Bad night (831)
Favorite
(719): View more from Colorado

That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(719): That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive. http://tfl.nu/zac0

Replies (8) Good night (1495) Bad night (750)
Favorite
(806): View more from Texas

Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(806): Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap http://tfl.nu/wtva

Replies (5) Good night (1447) Bad night (569)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer. http://tfl.nu/ld4h

Replies (8) Good night (2008) Bad night (495)
Favorite
(772): View more from Florida

I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(772): I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have? http://tfl.nu/a8zx

Replies (14) Good night (1733) Bad night (568)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9

Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (454)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me" http://tfl.nu/2grd

Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (503)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable. http://tfl.nu/it4b

Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (408)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice. http://tfl.nu/5nl5

Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (583)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard