Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.