i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize