My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
