It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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