Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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