me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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