Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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