Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
