I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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