weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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