i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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