when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize