man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
