never play flip cup with pint glasses
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ugly people sure do ruin things
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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