mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
