It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
