I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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