What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
