Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
