drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize