He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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