addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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