My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
