wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize