Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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