three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
