wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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