I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
