Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
