i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
