Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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