What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
