My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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