i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
