singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
