For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
