He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i believe in u and ur pee
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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