So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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