How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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