Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
